Click on SHELL SHOCK and DISABLED to enter each blog.
Disabled not compensated means that the minute I am smashed in an accident I stop all productive activity. There has to be an alternative pay day when all of yours are terminated by injury. I WORKED AT THE CNR BUT I ALSO DID ART AND WRITING AND I PLAYED HARMONICA AND GUITAR. I NEEDED MY AFFLAC OUT OF WORK INSURANCE TO CONTINUE TO SUPPORT MUSIC AND ART. WITHOUT IT LIFE WAS EXTREMELY TAXING PHYSICALLY. IT WAS HARD TO DO A LOT OF WORK THAT WAS NOT ACCOMPLISHED SEATED. I NEEDED MY INSURANCE PAY
Saturday, July 23, 2022
AT THE DROP OF A BAT, WHAP!
ALL ROADS LEAD TO
SHELL SHOCK !
THIS COULD BE A HARD TO GRASP CONCEPT. THIS CAN HAPPEN WITHOUT WARNING AND THROUGH MANY AN AGENCY. THAT IS THE WAY THE CREATOR OF THE SYNDROME, IN MY CASE, PLANNED IT AND WANTED IT.
THE ONSET CAN BE INSTANT, OR IT MAY BE DELAYED. IT IS SURPRISING AND SUBTLE AND COMPLETELY OVERWHELMING WITHOUT BEING OVERTLY KNOWN.
THIS IS ANOTHER DIFFICULT TO GRASP BUT EASY TO HAVE EXPERIENCED ASPECT OF SHELL SHOCK OR TONIC IMMOBILITY OR COLLAPSE IMMOBILITY:
THERE IS A BLANK SPOT IN MEMORY AS COLLAPSE ENSUES. AT THE DROP OF A BAT, FUGUE SETS IN.
What is dissociative fugue? A dissociative fugue is a Zombie like state for me. I even Zombie Work, going through the motions of work but not really remembering how much or how many times, just the whole of the continuation of the work. People with this symptom can't remember who they are or details about their past. Other names for this include a "fugue” or a “fugue state.”
MINE WAS A LITTLE DIFFERENT IN THE PAST. I DID NOT KNOW HOW I ENDED UP CRIPPLED.
I WOULD ASSUME THAT I HAD SLIPPED OR STEPPED IN A HOLE OR IT WAS THE LAST ACCIDENT.
IT WAS CAUSED BY THE FEAR AND THE ABJECT HOPELESSNESS OF BEING ABANDONED BY EVERYONE.
CLEVERLY REJECTING AN INJURED PERSON'S NEED FOR SUPPORT CAUSED SEVERE SHELL SHOCK.
I WOULD REMEMBER DISCONNECTED EVENTS, I DID NOT KNOW WHO OR WHAT WAS RELATED,
IN THE PAST WHEN I ENDED UP INJURED AND THEN I WAS VIRTUALLY PARALYZED,
RELATED COLLAPSE OR CONVULSION HAD OCCURRED.
I THINK I DID NOT REMEMBER THAT, I WOULD BE AWARE OF ONLY THE RESULT OF THE COLLAPSE OR CONVULSION.
I HAVE HAD A NUMBER OF CHEST CONSTRICTING CONVULSIONS FROM A CHILL OR EVEN A COLD WATER SPRAY.
WHAT IS WORRYING IS THAT THE ONSET OF THE
SHELL SHOCK
COULD BE A MISFIRE OF A FEELING OF ENDANGERMENT SUCH AS A MOTORCYCLE TIRE SKIDDING AND I COULD LOSE MY ABILITY TO HOLD THE BIKE UP OR EVEN A BOX FALLING FROM A SHELF ONTO ME OR AN UNEXPECTED SLIP. THIS IS A DAMNED DANGEROUS SITUATION TO BE IN, IT IS VERY LIMITING.
THE PEOPLE WHO CAUSED THE COLLAPSE WERE SO NARCISSISTIC THAT THEY TOOK NO RESPONSIBILITY AND HAVE EVEN COMPLAINED ABOUT THE LOOK ON MY FACE AS I COLLAPSED.
THEIR FEAR AT THE SIGHT OF MY GRIM VISAGE IS THE ONLY THING RECORDED.
ALL OF THIS MADNESS HAPPENED ONLY ON MY PROPERTY OR INVOLVING MY PROPERTY OR
OTHER ASSETS. THAT IS REALLY CRAZY AND DANGEROUS AND IT CAUSES MORE SHELL SHOCK .
IN THIS STATE OF DISABILITY, CREATED THROUGH A THOUSAND ATTACKS ON MYSELF AS A CHILD BY MY MOTHER, IMAGINE THE EFFECT THAT ANUNPROVOKED, UNEXPECTED, FABRICATED FAKE 911 CALL RAID HAS.
Postscript from my Facebook Page:
I am reasonably certain now. in 2022 that my main disabling defecit is SHELL SHOCK.
It might be hard to accept that this is why my back is reverse arched this morning.
I went from body surfing on 15 foot waves in Gaspe' and PEI to never entering the water again, it does not seem that you can trust that nothing dangerous will happen.
I used to rollerblade for up to fifteen kilometers but after I was surrounded in the BC Supreme Court by Sherriffs as I spoke my properly filed writ, I never felt safe to be vulnerable on the Streets to Rollerblade again.
What a desperate expensive and long researched plaintiff suit I had Documented in 2000. Due to my Defamation and the Prevarication I faced I could not obtain Legal Representation. Police and Lawyers believed my ex-wife when she knew what I was thinking and though I had never harmed anyone I was aggressive and violent in thought.
I had to represent myself, only to be forced into Collapse and Chest Seizure and to not be able to approach the BC Supreme Court building without having SHELL SHOCK render me breathless. The Sherriffs had me terrified. Would they run me down as I rollerbladed? They did not hesitate to break the Law. I could never Rollerblade again, Swayback or SHELL SHOCK would grip me, right out in front of my then at 134 Howe St. suite. I tried again and again but I could not Rollerblade I would go into SHELL SHOCK.
I FELT SECURE TO WANDER THROUGH DANGEROUS PARTS OF LONDON NGLAND.
Now somehow or other I collapse when I try to get in my car to leave or just to go up the driveway. I think I collapse when I approach the seventeen foot deep ditch, the insane but supported by all Law Enforcement and Ministries neighbors dug to ruin my land.Such a clever use of excavator and deisel to ruin instead of to build and then getting the By-Law and Police onto me, what a magnificant Canard!
I WOULD SELF REPRESENT IN ANY COURT OR BEFORE APPEAL BOARDS.
Ever so clever, it is all diverted or I am defamed and none of the legal work works!
Hopeless to be able to do anything and resentfully brought groceries every two weeks, I feel weak, powerless and vulnerable. The reluctanceof all and sundry to help me in any way makes me go weak. It seems so unreasonable. If I had not been attacked so many times I would have something together to supply myself with my needs. If I had been properly compensated I would not need anyone's help.
Pathetically I will have to beg one of my sons to get me groceries and they are so busy.
"IT WAS CAUSED BY THE FEAR AND THE ABJECT HOPELESSNESS OF being abandoned by everyone."
ReplyDeleteNot so, you have driven everyone who ever knew you away, as believing your bullshit is required.
That you blame others for triggering your PTSD, is the ultimate passive aggressive move. As you take no responsibility at all for your situation, its hard to see any way out.
I'll be in Victoria soon for prostrate cancer treatment and it would have been nice to see you, but I don't believe a great deal of your bullshit.