HOW CAN I HAVE A PERFECT CREDIT AND BUSINESS REPUTATION AND HAVE MY WIFE DECLARE THE "OPPOSITE" AND HAVE MY REPUTATION DISREGARDED?
USING VALIDATION TO DIFFUSE COGNITIVE DISSONANCE
Cognitive dissonance is diffused and reduced when the survivor of narcissistic abuse is able to receive validation and confirmation of the reality of their circumstances. Narrating the story can take place verbally in psychotherapy sessions and/or via the use of journaling exercises. Although this is just the beginning of the healing process, mastering the trauma associated with narcissistic abuse ensues when the target has unconditional, positive regard, validation for their experience, psychoeducation about the nature of narcissistic abuse recovery, and empowerment as they move through the emotions associated with grief/trauma recovery.
Being able to vocalize or write about the particulars of the experience releases the trauma and enables the survivor to reduce cognitive dissonance and continue with the healing work. T
AS A RESULT OF WHAT THE NARCISSIST IS TRYING TO ACHIEVE,OTHER DAMAGE CAN BE THE RESULT REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT YOU SUCCUMB TO COGNITIVE DISSONANCE.
THERE ARE AVENUES OF RESEARCH WHICH HAVE BEEN INDICATED TO ME THROUGH LANGUAGE.THE MEANING OF WORDS AND THEIR LINGUISTIC ORIGIN CAN POINT THE WAY.
THE GRAMMAR AND STRUCTURE OF STATEMENTS MADE BY SOURCES OF INFORMATION IS ALSO INDICATIVE.I HEAR THE DEPP HEARD SUIT DECISION DESCRIBED AS IF BOTH PARTIES WERE LIABLE WHEN THAT IS NOT ACTUALLY TRUE, ONE OF JOHNNY DEPP'S LAWYERS WHO HAD REPRESENTED DEPP PREVIOUSLY HAD BEEN JUDGED LIABLE FOR STATEMENTS HE, THE LAWYER, MADE.
IT DOES DIMINISH THE ABSOLUTE NATURE OF THE DEFAMATION OF DEPP BY HEARD TO INACCURATELY DESCRIBE THE VERDICT. IS THIS A MANIFESTATION OF VOLUNTARY OR SUBCONSCIOUSLY DRIVEN ACTIVE MALICE OR IS IT JUST A SOMEWHAT LESS CULPABLE BUT STILL ATTRIBUTABLE MISUNDERSTANDING?
Couldn’t have said it better. After a longstanding marriage, and children, the man I married turned from Jekyll into Hyde one day, and started making frivolous police calls to “come control the wife.” This, when I spoke up with an opinion that did not agree with his, for one of the first times in years. He convinced the none-too-astute officers that he would like me to have a psychiatric exam, because he was sure I was “bonkers” for having disagreed with him. One truly nasty cop obliged by coming back with the paperwork for him to have me held for 72 hrs., against my say-so. Apparently such archaic laws are still on the books in some places. When I met with a doctor, he told me my husband was obviously a dangerous man, and not to go home again, but to RUN! He released me immediately, told me to divorce him asap. I had underage children at home still, so I needed to go back. My Narcissistic husband became worse — enormous lies, smearing my reputation to everyone we knew (and I was shocked that some “friends” never questioned what he told them), destroying our finances, damaging or stealing my belongings, and becoming abusive in every way you might imagine. He continued trying to claim that I was the crazy one, as I did everything to sort through this mess. He cooked up another smear, took it to court this time, and had me thrown out of our home on false allegations. I had it overturned, but that took months and thousands of dollars. Then, I found he had been brainwashing our children to hate me. He had taken them away forcefully many times, for days at a stretch, to anonymous motels where I could not reach them. Police did nothing; said Dad had joint custody. This is where my husband indoctrinated our kids with subtle mind-control methods. Eventually, he had the kids thinking his way – like a cult leader with his groupies. I found out it is called Attachment-based Parental Alienation (see website of Craig Childress). My once-loving children became as vicious and abusive to me as my husband. I am still in shock. Waiting for the divorce. My kids refuse contact, and treat me like a worm whenever we do see one another. How did this happen? I am normal. I thought for years that my husband was too — apart from the fact that he could never thank or compliment me in any way whatsoever (no reciprocity). Wish now that I had known that was a clue. Take your children and get out of there! Just be careful that you do not jump from the frying pan into the fire by having him try Parental Alienation on them — which causes huge damage. It can land you in court for years of often-fruitless fighting for your kids. Emotionally, Parental Alienation leaves your kids at high risk of suicide. This is serious stuff.
