I FAILED TO REALIZE HOW DEVASTATED I WAS IN 1980

I KNOW, THAT WAS A LOOONG TIME AGO BUT I AM STILL, I REALIZE, IN 2020 IN THE THROES OF MY PERSONAL DESTRUCTION. I AM STILL CRUSHED.

WHY WOULD I BE UNABLE TO EVER SURPASS MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS BY AN INCH OR A JOB OR EVEN THE DANCING HARMONICIST THING I WAS ABLE TO DO DURING A PERIOD OF RECOVERY YEARS AGO?

That is because I was always Crippled, with Tonic Immobility and Postural Hypotension and it was actually quite miraculous that I did the return to the CNR, and to the Jewellery Factory and I finished the first house here at Otter Point from lockup to occupancy. I had my new Jewellery Factory equipment, Design Work and Finished Jewellery Inventory, musical instruments, motorcycles and Family Chattals....... EVERYTHING WAS BURNT AND THEN MY WIFE TOOK OVER THE ASHES AND THE FIRE INSURANCE. I WAS CRUSHED.

I HAVE NEVER RECOVERED  THAT POTENTIAL OR TO THAT PERSONAL EARNING POWER AND ABILITY.

I  BRIEFLY MANAGED TO REACQUIRE MY MUSICAL PERFORMANCE PROJECT DURING THE 1990's. THAT MUSICAL  RENAISSANCE WAS ATTACKED AND DESTROYED.  I WAS CRUSHED AGAIN.

IN THE 2000's I WROTE, GOMPOSED, AND PERFORMED. I CREATED VIDEOS AND BLOGS IN AN ATTEMPT TO POPULARIZE MY CREATIVE WORK. 

DESPITE MY NOT RISING AGAIN TO THE DESIRED STAGE PERFORMANCE LEVEL OF BEING ABLE TO DO DANCE AND HARMONICA LIVE ON STAGE OR BEING ABLE TO GET TO PLAY WITH WITH LIVE BANDS, I HAVE BEEN HAMPERED AND OBSTRUCTED AND ATTACKED WHILE I WAS ON MY OWN PROPERTY.

 

I CANNOT GET UP. I AM DOWN, FLAT ON MY BACK, LEGS UP, FORCED INTO THE POSTURAL HYPOTENSION RELIEF POSITION, I AM CRUSHED.

 

DISPLEASING PLEASING

ALL THE WOMEN HAD TO DO TO ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING WAS TO BE ABLE TO GET IT OUT OF DADDY OR HUSBAND.

MALE OBJECTION WAS SIMPLY A CHARACTER FLAW. IN MY CASE I WAS JUDGED TO BE "CHEAP". ANY TECHNIQUE TO OVERCOME THAT WAS ACCEPTABLE. I WOULD BE "SHOWN". I WOULD PAY AND BE PUNISHED AS WELL FOR BEING "CHEAP". 

DESPITE MY "CHEAP", THE EX- WIFE SPENT EVERYTHING I HAD, THEN SHE BORROWED ON MY HOUSE AND WAS GOING TO BORROW MORE FROM THE SUPER EXPENSIVE BAKERY INSTALLATION COMPANY.

MY EX-WIFE WOULD HAVE BORROWED EVERYTHING MULTIPLE TIMES ON THE SAME ASSET, NOT INTELLECTUALLY CAPABLE OF FULLY UNDERSTANDING THAT THE LAW PUNISHED FRAUD, SHE WOULD ACCOMPLISH WHATEVER SHE WANTED TO BY LYING AS USUAL.

ALL THE MEN HAD TO DO WAS PLEASE THE WOMEN OR ELSE AND THAT IS A HELL OF A WAY TO RUN FAMILIES AND BUSINESS AFFAIRS AND BORROWING!