PERVOPHOBIC I AM

 

LINDON COLLARD TOTAL RECALL

Saturday, December 18, 2021

Read the headlines. Run your cursor over the dim print to read it in white on blue and view more detail and atrocities.

TEENAGER LINDON COLLARD WAS RUTHLESSLY PUNISHED FOR NO REASON

THERE WERE ALWAYS MEAN AND CONTROLLING ADULTS DOING MEAN THINGS TO ME WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER.

MOTHER CONTROLLED MY CHILDHOOD BANK ACCOUNT. IT HELD EVERY GIFT I HAD BEEN GIVEN BY RELATIVES, THERE WERE NO TOYS. MOTHER ALLOWED ONLY MONEY TO BE GIVEN TO ME . THE MONEY WAS NOT ALLOWED TO BE SPENT. THE $479. IN MY JOINT ACCOUNT, WITH HER, AS I WAS A CHILD,WAS TO SPEND WHEN I WENT TO COLLEGE, SHE SAID.  

WHILE I WAS ON MY WAY TO UNIVERSITY, IN 1962, I WAS 16 YEARS OLD, MOTHER WITHDREW ALL OF IT. I GOT NOTHING.

I WAS RAGGED FROM 12 TO 18 ABOUT MY UNDESERVED TRUST FUND AND WHEN I TURNED 18, MOTHER STOLE MY MAIL, I NEVER EVEN GOT TO SEE WHAT MY GRANDFATHER WORKED AND SAVED TO GIVE TO ME.      I KNOW THE FUND WAS HELD IN MY NAME IN  FARMER'S AND MERCHANT'S TRUST. 

MOTHER SAID I WAS UNDER HER AUTHORITY, I WAS NOT GETTING MY TRUST FUND WHICH WAS $10,000 OR IT STARTED AS 10K AND WAS $12,000 OR MORE ON MY 18th BIRTHDAY. I DID NOT GET ONE CENT OF IT AND STRANGELY, NO CHECKS, NO CARDS, ON MY 18TH BIRTHDAY WHILE I WAS AT UNIVERSITY. (ACTUALLY, IT WAS TRICKY TO WRITE TO ME, c/o UNB POST OFFICE.) 

MY MOTHER, FROM THEN ON, CLAIMED THAT TO REACH ME BY MAIL YOU WOULD HAVE TO SEND THE MAIL TO MY PARENT'S ADDRESS. 

MOTHER HAD MY CHILDHOOD JOINT BANK ACCOUNT, WITH HER. DID SHE CASH MY 18th BIRTHDAY CHECKS?

AT 19 I WAS THROWN OUT OF UNB. I HAD REFUSED TO COOPERATE WITH THE ADMINISTRATION TO NOT  CRITICIZE THEM BUT TO HELP TO MAKE THINGS GO SMOOTHLY FOR THE ADMINISTRATION.  I PUBLISHED THE "KNIGHTLY HERALD" AN OLD TINY NICHE NEWSPAPER AT UNB.

BY 1967 ALL I HAD LEFT WAS MY JOB AT THE CNR.

THAT GREEN AND THIS GOLD WERE STILL PAINTED ON SOME EQUIPMENT, ON MOST OF IT WHEN I STARTED.

I WAS INJURED IN TWO MV ACCIDENTS BY 1970. THE ACCIDENTS DID NOT HAPPEN AT WORK AND THEY WERE CAUSED BY OTHER PEOPLE.  COLLUSION AND PREVARICATION WERE RUTHLESSLY DEPLOYED TO LEAVE ME BROKE AND UNEMPLOYED. NO MORE CNR.

I REMEMBER TALKING TO MY FATHER ABOUT MY DISSATISFACTION WITH THE TREATMENT I HAD BEEN AFFORDED. I SAID THAT CONDITIONS WOULD HAVE TO CHANGE AND MY FATHER SAID ``WE ARE IN CONTROL. YOU ARE NOT".

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THAT, BY 1970 WAS NOT THE END OF MY PUNITIVE AND UNSUPPORTED RELATIONSHIP WITH SOCIETY. I CONTINUED TO BE DERAILED FROM MY EVERY REMEDY TO MY UNEMPLOYMENT. NO ONE WOULD ACCEPT THAT WHATEVER ASSETS AND USE OF INFRASTRUCTURE I HAD WERE ESSENTIAL TO ME AND WERE IRREPLACEABLE. 

NO ONE WOULD ACCEPT THAT I NEEDED THE NEXT INHERITANCE I WAS TO RECEIVE. THAT WOULD ALLOW ME TO WORK. NO ONE WOULD HIRE ME. I WAS CRIPPLED AGAIN IN 1986. I HAD BEEN A SLAVE LABORER, I WAS UNPAID FOR 3 YEARS AT MY WIFE'S DISASTROUS BUSINESS RIGHT UP TIL THE ACCIDENT IN DECEMBER 1986.  

I COULD NOT "MAKE PAYMENTS" TO THEM ANY MORE AS THEY FERVENTLY DESIRED OF ME . MY OWN SHOP, WITH A NEARBY SLEEPING ACCOMMODATION, OR A JOB AS A WRITER OR MUSICIAN WAS REQUIRED. FAMILY MEMBERS RIGOROUSLY OPPOSED THIS IMPERATIVE. WHY COULD I NOT GET THE MENIAL "START AT THE BOTTOM" JOB DEMANDED MY MOTHER WHO HAD A VERY BRIEF WORK HISTORY. 

THROUGHOUT THE NINETEEN EIGHTIES AND NINETEEN NINETIES I CONTINUED TO EXPERIENCE MORE THEFTS OF INHERITANCE AND MORE DISABLING INJURIES AND ACCIDENTS. THE FAILURE OF GOVERNMENT TO PROVIDE PROPER COMPENSATION OR EVEN MEDICAL TREATMENT HAMPERED AND IMPOVERISHED ME. I SPEAK IN A POLITE AND EDUCATED MANNER,  AND I, THANKS TO A DONATION FROM MY AUNT HAD A FEW GOOD CLOTHES TO WEAR WHEN I WAS OUT AND ABOUT. PEOPLE HAD THE IMPRESSION THAT THAT AND MY OWNERSHIP OF MY HOUSE, AN ONGOING REMEDIAL WORK IN PROGRESS FOR 40 YEARS, MEANT THAT I HAD NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT DESPITE NOT EVER HAVING DISPOSABLE INCOME.

I THINK MANY OF THE BAD THINGS I HAD TO PUT UP WITH WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED IF I WAS NOT RUTHLESSLY STOLEN FROM AND PUNISHED ALL MY LIFE. DOES THAT START WITH CHILDHOOD ABUSE AND ADOLESCENT PUNISHMENT AND FINANCIAL EXPLOITATION?

There are gross elements of Perversion motivating some or is it many of the rotten bastards who made life difficult, painful or impoverished. They are figuratively and in their interior fantastic reality screwing or fucking me. 

I am deeply suspicious of the motivations of all the Stick Wielding People, from my Mother who proudly declared Father had not had sex with her after I was about five years old but her face was wreathed in a look of Joy as she beat me to the Saint Michael's University Stick Fucker Preppie Boys which I wrote about.

I repeatedly recall that bad treatment I was subjected to was a case of persons exercising latent or symbolic sexually perverted motivations which having power over, intimidating, dispossessing and demeaning other persons satisfies for them.

The pair of HFAS, the clerk in the CNR Employee Relations Office and the Lawyer, Logie, from Northwestern Insurance were screwing me in 1970, fucking me like they would if they as a pair got hold of an intoxicated or drugged man or a submissive fairy. I catch glimpses of that behavior on TV and I often remember Dan Savage on Bill Mahr proudly declaring that instead of fighting over sex outside their marriage "one or them would be on one end and the other on the other end" of a third man. To me this is indicative and frighting. I am Homophobic, I am scared of what Queers in Power over me might do.

SIGMUND FREUD'S HYPOTHESIS SHOULD BE USED IN THE LEGAL PROCESS. HE WAS RIGHT ABOUT SEX AND MOTIVATION.

THERE IS NOTHING CLEAN ABOUT LYING AND VANDALIZING AND STEALING TO PUNISH A PERSON WHO HAS DONE NO HARM TO YOU. PARTICULARLY, IF A CHILD OR A DISABLED PERSON IS THE VICTIM, IT IS A REVOLTING PERVERSION, A SUBSTITUTION OF HURT POWER FOR THE POWER AND JOY OF HAVING SEX.